Albums You Don’t Want to Find While Flipping Through Your Parents’ Record Collection
Shudder.
Also, can somebody get the audio to go with this? It does not seem to be available on iTunes.
In acknowledgement of the fact that it is Washington’s Birthday*
(Language: NSFW)
* The Office of Personnel Management will have none of this “President’s Day” nonsense, perhaps because no one can can figure out where the possessive apostrophe goes or if at all.
This holiday is designated as “Washington’s Birthday” in section 6103(a) of title 5 of the United States Code, which is the law that specifies holidays for Federal employees. Though other institutions such as state and local governments and private businesses may use other names, it is our policy to always refer to holidays by the names designated in the law.
This seems a tad excessive, no?
So you are Stuart Slann, the smiling fellow pictured above. You are on holiday in Cancun, and you meet two fellow countrymen and football fans. Somewhat unfortunately, they are degenerate Scousers (redundant?) while you are a Man United supporter. Naturally, some trash talk ensues. Well, that’s just good fun, isn’t it? Not so much, really. Since meeting the two Liverpudlians (both of whom also apparently happen to be “professional Cage Fighters,” whatever that means), the following has occurred:
Is Carly Simon An Idiot Or Am I?
Isn’t the fucking song about him?
S.O.I.O.S.S.
Noooooooooo! And the world just became a sadder place. Via The Offside comes the tragic news that I’m on Setanta Sports is ending after this week’s episode. Just six posts and three weeks ago, we said that IOSS “may be the most brilliant thing ever.” Well, it certainly did not take long for the Curse of Severance Nation Army to establish itself. After the jump, Setanta’s rather glib notification of the fact, what is apparently the penultimate episode and a classic IOSS:
Traditionally Non-Domesticated Animals That We Think Would Make Cool Pets
Look, to be honest, we are not pet people. Mostly, this is a pragmatic and reasonable thing–we are barely able to take care of ourselves (though currently we have kept three houseplants alive for something like ten months); frankly, we are largely ambivalent, if not hostile, to the existence of the majority of other living creatures (humans most certainly included, except for you, we really, really like you); not to mention that we live in a small urban condo. That being said, we have on occasion pondered the idea summarized in the post’s title and have two favorites, which are discussed after the jump:
Awkward Noises
Via Deadspin:
We are sure that this is all perfectly above-board and that this gentleman is a moral pillar, but, still, the “uhh”s make us uncomfortable.
Acknowledgment of the fact that it is December 31
There really should be a cooler version of this on YouTube, but what are you going to do:
Two more not very exciting versions of the same, one not particularly compelling observation and a digression from that observation after the jump:
Dear Severance Nation Abby
Occasionally, Severance Nation Army will perform a public service by responding to requests for advice submitted to our most respected advice columns. Today’s entry:
DEAR ABBY: I love my husband, but how do you make a man stop embarrassing you in public?
My husband flirts openly with cashiers right in front of me, and asks complete strangers walking by if they would “like to buy a wife cheap.”
Yesterday we went out to lunch and the bill was $18.42. He made a big fuss about it with the cashier, then loudly informed me it was my “fat a–” meal that cost so much. Abby, my meal was $6. I died a million deaths that day.
My husband is proud to have the nickname “Mr. Rude.” Many of my friends avoid him because of his rudeness. He tells me people think it’s funny, but I know they are offended. — NOT LAUGHING IN CINCINNATI
Best Christmas Song of My Lifetime?
Fairytale of New York or Christmas in Hollis? Both released in 1987, making it unquestionably the greatest year for Christmas songs in my lifetime.
Videos and some discussion after the jump: